|Wednesday, June 27th, 2001|
hey. im sooooooo stressed. i cant stand it. i havent been sleepin at night so im tired\ as hell. my grandma from hell is comin to visit...aahhhh save me. i think im gettin sicki a havin trouble eatin and i have a real bad headache and my tummy hurts soooo bad. no pukin yet...
my bro has a friend over. i want to beat hes treatin me like crap to impress his friend, he makes me mad he sat there and talked aout how much he loved ppongo and im sure he did but he doesnt even cry at all anymore. its been exactly 2 weeks today...2 weeks isnt long i dont know how he can not cry he even watched 102 dalmatians when i left(it was a 2nd attempt) the 1st time i made him turn it off....but ijust dont understand. i guess i never will.
danny: im really lookin forward to your party.....:)
tracey: hi.... ash says hi
rachel: i guess we r in the same boat...hope u know how to swim :)
manderz: hey..wutz up?
chris: hey shmuck!!
kell Current Mood: sick
|Wednesday, June 20th, 2001|
hey ppl. hows everyone? better than me i hope...:) jess: im in the same boat as jen(the whole givin up thing)..tell her i hope it doesnt sink:) hope she can swim..oh crap i forgot my water wings:) oh well im sinkin fast. smile sweetheart *hugz*
chris: thanks for not bein an ass it means a lot...*hugz* really if i dont show it it does mean alot thank you so much:) Current Mood: blah
|Sunday, June 17th, 2001|
hey ppl....i have a serious question?!?! isnt there a saying everything is ok ain the end if its not ok then its not the end???? THEN WHEN THE FUCK AM I GONNA FUCKIN FIND THE GOD DAMN PIECE OF SHIT END!?!?!?!!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?! ive been looking and i cant fuckin find it....havent i been through enough dying and heart ache and all that fuckin happy ass horse shit in the past 16 years? WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!! ok im done *smashes head*
kell Current Mood: crushed
|Thursday, June 14th, 2001|
i cried myself to sleep last night...and cried for a while today....i miss him....i just wanna crawl away and die so i can be sure he is ok. i love him soooo much.....nine years...almost ten....i want him back!!!! :*( *cries* i have been trouble sleeping...it sucks i love to sleep....im gettin sick too. im hurtin pretty bad..danny its time for you to throw a party and majke sure u r supplied this time.....k? K!
ok..im depressed....need help....LOTS of help.
im gonna go...thanx rachel i need anger skills:)
kell Current Mood: depressed
|Wednesday, May 30th, 2001|
het after i wrote last...i went and took a four and 1/2 hour nap.....it was great:) then i took 3 more i.b.profen(not even gonna attempt to spell) and slowly it went away. damnit it angie ive been singin billy joel since you left.....i LOVE billy joel but its driving t crazy cause i havent stopped singing it:) hehehe asshole,...paybacks a bitch:) hehehehe....
ang did you give nathan the pic?? *crosses fingers and hopes* :) my mom is gonna buy stamps i was like i NEED to send "nathans" pic out:0 sshe doesnt know i gave it to you so....SSSHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!k? K! terence is such a snitch!!!!!!! he told my parents EVERYHTING we did today..good thing we didnt do our plans we woulda been in deep shit:) heh heh
my bro is goin to the docs tomorrow so i have the house to myself...*stretches* it will be great:) PARTAY!!!!! fuckin lil snitch!!!
jess: SMILE!!!!!! i wuv ya...no matter who you are but you r you and thats all that matters...k? *hugz*
danny: sorry i couldnt come ove...im ALWAYS in trouble:)
im gonna check my email....
luv ya guyz.
always and forever,
kell Current Mood: blah
|Monday, May 21st, 2001|
|dream? life? reality?
dreams are just a bunch of crap...life in general is...reality sucks... i was hoping i would never wake up....that my bubble would never break... that i would stay in my happy world forever...heh what a joke... all good things must end :( it ended too soon...i wanted to stay that way forever... i thought i was ok...that my slump was over...i guess it was just a cover up...i was trying so hard to be hapy i actually thought i was but it couldnt last forever could it..no of course not. i can never do anything right...im ALWAYS screwing up...i always make the wrong decisions.. trust the wrong people at times...im ALWAYS in the wrong place at the wrong time. i just wish i could do something right...i wish i could...but woshes neve come true...they are just temporary providers of hope...then yo wake up and realize itz never coming true...they were just spoken words or just a thought...no one heard it no one not even you tried to make it happen and probably never will. oh well....back in the slump...was i always there and just unaware??? probably..im as blind as can be...and i always will be
|Sunday, May 6th, 2001|
hey ppl........im pretty happy for 10:00 in the morning.....:) angis here but shes asleep.... we were mixing vodka with out hot tea.....it was soooooooooooo good.... she is soooooooooooooo funny.... unfortunatly we didnt get drunk cause my mom was still sosber so of course we couldnt but there is always next weekend:)
jess: maybe its better you dont get to be friends with him....you may just get hurt because of .....you know....i think so...maybe you wont....maybe he just needs a little more time...hes goin through a tough time right now....he seems pretty upset and a little screwed up......no offense don.
danny: i have the funniest pic of you from disney.........HAHAHAHAHA
ang: WAKE UP!!!!!!!! im bored:(
i need to do something today......im bored out of my mind....what mind??? nevermind i cant be bored out of a mind if i dont have one
my tummy feels funny....heheheheh
jess: try to smile.....k hun
im listening to american hifi on napster. gggggrrrrr i dont know what to write.....so im gonna go......bye
|Tuesday, May 1st, 2001|
wutz new.....im feeling pretty good....i think its time for more beadryl tho....oh well....
ang: hey hun...r u feelin better??? you seemed really sidetracked today....like you couldnt focus...maybe it was just me
love ya sweetie!
jess: did you talk to _______? i missed you today...:( r u okay? r u sick??? aw if you are feel better soon
love ya 2 sweetie!
danny: >:/ gggggggrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!! to you! right? RIGHT!
i feel good yet like im off course...its kinda kewl.....its kinda like im in my own world.......im lovin it...i want ta stay this way for a few days and just chill....yes......chill......sound good.......very good! ah...i have a test in 2nd period tomorrow..and mrs. hoopers homework is due...shit!!!!!! oh well...i dont care. maybe that's why i have ds in those 2 classes.
hehehe pretty funny.....VERY funny!
these lil ball icons r 2 cute.
la lala la
ig2g go eat :P....yuk!
love ya guys! Current Mood: chipper
|Friday, April 27th, 2001|
jess: you are such a sweetie....you always seem to make me smile......thanx *hugs*
hi ang......im gonna go
jess: im not sure bout this steve thing......one of my friends went out with him and eh.....im not sure *cries*
im gonna go
bye Current Mood: confused
|Thursday, April 12th, 2001|
im blonde and i hate it:9 im dying it back.........:( mandy.....HI! are you going on the bush gardens trip?
i have to skip school pon the 16th.......but i cant:(
EEYORE IS TALKING!!!!!!!!!!!!! ITS SOOOOOOOOOOO CUTE.......!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!AAAAAAAAAAAAAA
HHHHHHHHH! im done.
im bored im gonna go. bye guys
i dont update on here much.......i update on alofus...k? k
|Monday, November 20th, 2000|
hey guys. sorry bout the depressed complaining yesterday. ive been trying to keep my feelings to myself like i used to but that hamster thing hit me hard i was totally unprepared:(. but ill try not to complain anymore. jess thanx and the identity thing: i went through it and still am but hopefully you feel better bout it soon.ang im sorry bout your shitty day:*( feel better. danny you looked like an ass in those clothes.:) hehehe TRACEY!!!!!!!!!!!! hehehewell gonna go
1 day baby:) YEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
|Friday, November 10th, 2000|
|tired tired tired........ fl sucks!!!!!!!!!!!
i feel terrible. angie im happy you are ok:). danny it scares me when you sit there and you read me. it is really scarey. at least you cant completely read me like you can angie. it is soooooooooooo freakin freaky when i sit there and talk to you and you know exactly what i feel but its funny when you are wrong :) hehehe nothing sparked the feelings i have i have had them for a REALLY long time.. they just grew so that i couldnt keep them inside anymore. ithose feelings started when i was lil like 6 when everything started to turn to **ll. florida is soooooo boring. i want to go home and be with ed and the rest of my family. it is like im not even family anymore because i NEVER see them. i just found out ed is taller than me now and i saw pictures being i haven't seen him in about 2 years. he really grew up. i have trouble looking at pictures of us together when we were lil because besides my parents and brother he is the family member (living-which isnt many) that means the most to me. we used to be so close now i never see him and i miss it soooooooooooooo much that words cant explain. its bad enough having everyone die and leave me theni cant see one of the family members i love most.it sucks . i miss excitement. i have a baby cousin in which i still didnt meet but he is coming to visit over christmas.......wish ed would come but his dumb @$$ mom wont let him :*( i hate her too. if i dont get to see him im gonna cry. he is the only cousin of mine i trualy love because he is the only one i am/was truely close to. life is sooooooooooooo tiring.. no wounder ppl die. their heart gets tired. mine sure as hell is!!!!! angie probably knows what im talking about. well i am tired of complaining about "life" so im leaving buh bye
|Wednesday, September 20th, 2000|
|none just here to say hi
Hey guys. Today was a pretty good day. Oh............guess what? Danny F. decided he was going to talk to me for the first time in about 2 weeks. I was not happy. I told my mom I wanted Kelsy and she said she wasn't sure that WE CAN adopt her. They might already have a family lined up for her:*(. Oh well. Chris............I don't have a problem!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well gotta go byebye
|none just here to say hi
Hey guys. Today was a pretty good day. Oh............guess what? Danny F. decided he was going to talk to me for the first time in about 2 weeks. I was not happy. I told my mom I wanted Kelsy and she said she wasn't sure that WE
|Thursday, September 14th, 2000|
i am an idiot i somehow entered my first entry twice!!!!!!!!!!!! oh well leave it to me to screw things up.... i'm good at that:). My dad is yelling AGAIN. It seems like that is all my family does any more. No use complaining its not like it can be fixed. My new motto on life: Screw The World.................! Sounds good to me. No more if all else fails go shopping allthough i must admit that was a good motto. I have to go cook dinner:( Bye Current Mood: frustrated
|i dont know:)
Hey! This is my first entry! Thanx Jess for suggesting I get this cool li' journal. It seems pretty cool. I am soooooooo bored. What else is new? Thank God tomorrow is Friday. Jess I was surprised when you went to the back in chorus because you know the music? that blew me away. That was pretty cool though. Well I have to go.